I've been in this state of vigilant struggle and bountiful bliss for about a week now. It is identified and quantified and laid out before me with one resounding question remaining in it all: what do I do with these feelings?
To some this would be an easy answer. Who are we to deny love in all of its trappings? We should scream it from the country sides, worship it on altars, and clutch it warm to our bosom. Love carries me off to clouds on high and lays me gentle into the soft grasses below. It holds in its breeze the smell of sweet flowers. With its mighty arms it has whisked me away and now...I get scared.
I've been here before. I've put it on the line not knowing the answers. I've tore myself open to be fully exposed to the one person I feel could be the one. And in the end it was always turned back. It was rejected as offal. It was stomped upon, obliterated, and mangled in this dance we call courtship. Many say that the man has so little to loose but I feel it is those men that have been lying to themselves. And in the end here I am...taken.
So when will she know? When will my lips part and sing that sweet song of devotion? I'm taking a different approach this time. Slow and steady I'm told wins the race. I'm showering her with love and affection and not fighting so hard to define what we are or where we fit. Instead I am learning to be content in the now. To take time to view every facet that is this jewel I'm getting to know. I want strength in unity with a strong foundation and re-enforced frame. If this pays off we will see. If it doesn't then I have to say to myself, "The war is not over." We simply lost a battle. In battles we fix our wounded and move on to the next stage of victory.
To Love...
Jack
