Throw My Head to the Air Screaming, "Why?"

It has been finally this month that I have embraced two truths: 1) The whole of government has failed me and the American public. What once was my shining hope in a change of regime has turned to equal parts dissatisfaction and hatred to everything that is currently in place. No longer am I content to let extreme conservatives and their ignorance be the ire for which I stoke the fire. Obama and his gang have joined it as well by taking a stance that is exactly opposite to those of the far right - sitting on their hands and trying to do things "the right way". Bush and his lackeys never did that. They saw what they wanted to pushed, forced, bought, and bullied their way through. The liberals now sit in a similar seat of power but act like a bunch of castrated mongoloids. Grow a pair guys. It is sad when the person that has the most balls in your party is Nancy Pellosi. At least she stands firmly behind what she believes and doesn't mind ruffling feathers.

2) I'm embracing the fact that, like most people that feel they fit in the bohemian intellectual sect, I'm decidedly socialist. I'm not changing. Not wavering in the fact. Not ashamed that I feel socialism is the political standing that is most in tune with compassion, humane behavior, and intelligence. Where socialism fails is purely from a stance of those in charge losing sight of what is important. Socialism is nearly impossible in a free market filled with partisan politics and back alley dealings. I think that is why it fits me so much. I want to distance myself as much as I can from Republicans and Democrats. At their roots they have amazing potential and the ability to accomplish much, but greed and personal agendas make these two parties a cancerous tumor in the guise of a two-sided coin.

My current beef extends to just about every aspect of American culture. It is a crisis of faith in all that composes modern living. I've wondered why I'm not as excited by movies, tv, and other things I used to love so much. Well I think the answer has always been there staring me right in the face. These things don't matter. As I'm fond of saying they are all "opiates for the masses". As long as we can have a celluloid distractions and celebrity gossip we are content to live within the confines of our own four walls protected from an ambiguous ethical reality that exists right outside our doors.

I can joke (which is surely a coping mechanism for the ugliness of our world) but the fact is I'm hearing the broken. I'm speaking to the woman who stands behind a plastic sheet of Plexiglass so some pervert can ogle her. I'm speaking to the father that has to make the decision of who in his family gets to go to the doctor this year because he can't afford health insurance and the many other medical costs that continue to climb in this nation. I'm speaking to the youth that didn't have the luxury of seeing things through rose-tinted glasses and was robbed of his/her innocence before they ever had a choice. Lastly I'm speaking of the billions around the world which get our table scraps so we can sleep soundly every night. We are broken. It is political, spiritual, emotion, and financial bankruptcy that embodies the fat, oblivious nature that makes us so hated around the world.

All I have is an answer that always resides in myself. And believe me or not, this blog comes with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I love that I care. The change in this world starts with me. With the choices I make. Being just as much of the problem this is for me as it is for anybody who actually reads this. My summer changed priorities for me but now it is time to define what that means. Take the chances that are not popular but are healthy for the world around me have to be my function. These moments have always been baby steps in life and that is all I can ask of my reader. Take the baby steps that change you and in turn you might change the world.

Little things change with me daily. I've exercised nearly every day for a month so I'm working of the physical me. I pray and speak to my savior daily so that builds the spiritual me. I'm attempting changes in old thought processes which have been part of me for way to long which changes the ethical, emotional, and intellectual me. In the end I can only hope that you too can find your crutch...your modern medicine...and shirk off its ill affects to see the world for what it truly is: a place full of hope waiting for us to create it. Be the hope in your world.