Despite it all I'm still holding on that there is some greater purpose to all of this. Beyond my lack of hope and my fear and brokenness I'm finding reasons to explore some things in hopes to finding some answers and getting back to moving forward. If I stay like this I will die...it isn't a question at this point. There has to be some reason that I can find in life that gets me out of bed every day beyond making money or working out or ingesting media and facts. Anyway...g'night...